I'm Sorry, I'm Really Sorry

Details:
for Violin, Bass Clarinet, Vibraphone
9 minutes

Commissioned and premiered by F-Plus at Pianoforte in Chicago, IL; March 4, 2018.

About the work:
At some point, we come to understand that creating art is an act of vulnerability. It may not seem that way to some, but we’ve all heard the saying about the artist/writer/musician baring their soul on the page/canvas/stage/what have you. I think a lot about the times when I was younger and creating music with no regard for how vulnerable or not it truly was. Everyone’s journey as an artist is different, but for me, the self-realization came late. It was easy to create music and make it public when I was younger. I had no concern about who thought what, when, where or why. But eventually, the doubt started to creep in. I became too concerned about whether my music mattered. It’s a long road to get to the place where you are comfortable and happy with who you are as an artist. It starts small—timid almost—and then, bit by bit, it grows into something more. You start to let the path take you where it wants to rather than controlling it yourself. Sometimes things shift or get bumpy along the way, but ultimately what seem like the most disparate attributes of yourself begin to coalesce into a voice that can only be distinctly you. I’m Sorry, I’m Really Sorry is about that journey we take, and the patience we need for ourselves to find who we are as artists.